The struggle with time is real

For those of you that know me well, you know that I am very particular about time. And for those of you just getting to me you are about to learn my love/hate obsession with time. Ever since I can remember I struggled very hard with time. Not just being on time, but my NEED for being at least 15 minutes early for EVERYTHING!!

The struggle was real in my house. My father and I are always early. Our motto was “if you aren’t 15 minutes early, you’re late”. My mother and brother on the other hand….. If they show up on time, it’s a miracle. They are always late for everything. You can see how this would drive me crazy growing up. My mom and I are pretty close and we do a lot of things together. So going anywhere, I would sit at the door harassing my mom to hurry up. I think I have trained her very well because she is now more accommodating to my need to be early. Or, she just got tired of listening to my constant complaints about her being late and now tries very hard to be early so I shut up.

Not only do I have to be 15 minutes early, I can’t be any earlier. There have been countless times where my mom has driven me around the block multiple times because we were too early. Other times we sat together in the car for 5 to 10 minutes waiting for the perfect moment for me to exit the vehicle. As you might be able to tell, going anywhere was very stressful for me. I needed to arrive exactly 15 minutes early for everything, not a minute earlier, not a minute later.

Growing up, and still to this day, I am friends with a lot of people who are always late. When I am meeting up with these people, I try very hard to be late. Me being late, is me arriving at the scheduled time. Then I sit there panicking that I am late even though I am there earlier than anyone else.

There are theories about when you were born dictates whether you are consistently late, early, or on time. I asked my mom about this one day and she said I was born early and my brother was born late. So for us, the theory is true.

Am I as bad as I used to be? No. I am getting better with the anxiety of time. I credit that to the wonderful side effects of all the BodyTalk and Bars sessions I receive. Time has never been the purpose of any of my sessions, but it has certainly been a welcomed consequence. Now when I think of time, I giggle. It is just a made up concept we invented to make life a little easier. I am still looking for that person who loves time. I will probably always be early for everything, but at least now I am not losing it over the perfect moment to arrive.

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