As an adult, I don’t get too many canker sores. As a kid, my mouth was always loaded with them. I was always in so much pain and I could never figure out why I would get them. Why do I bring this up? Well, this week I got the luxury of getting my friend, Mr. Canker Sore back to visit me. The positive, I love looking at the symbolism behind EVERYTHING. They usually hold very true to me, and the canker sore was no different.
So, I went digging in my Messages from The Body book by Michael J. Lincoln and this is what he had to say.
"“Back Talk.” They are full of blaming, angry, and judgemental attitudes, and festering words that are held back and unexpressed. They are feeling frustrated, critized from all sides, and picked on in a situation in which they do not feel free to talk back.
They are also overburdened with excessive responsibilities and requirements that are loaded with emotional stress. They are detail-fixated, anxiously hovering, and emotionally upheaveled…”
Doesn’t that just sound lovely? Does this reflect my life when I was a kid and currently? Yes, unfortunately. Kids are mean. Kids pick on other kids all the time. I was never the kid to say anything back, I just let it happen even though it bothered me. I often felt like I was doing something wrong or I was just wrong.
This week’s canker sore is not from children picking on me though, but from festering emotions and words I have been holding back. How do I discuss a situation with the people involved without making it worse? Instead, I have a tendency to hold back and say very little when in fact I have a whole lot to say. Instead of discussing disappointments with the people they pertain to, I hold them in. Or other times, I have felt stifled like I couldn’t talk because I may hurt someone else’s feelings.
Has any of this worked? Nope. Not in the least bit. I am still every bit as hurt as I was originally, and grow new hurt feelings of the lack of progress with situation and feeling shut out. Finally, what happens in the end? I manifest new pains in my body to deal with the hurt.
Now what? Do I take the bull by the horns and let it all out? Do I find a creative way to express myself that does not affect anyone else but me? Or, do I sit back and continue to fester away and receive more lovely canker sores or worse?