How often do you say you can’t do something, know something, or be something? I know I catch myself saying it more often than I would like to. I find “can’t” such an ugly word. The energy behind it is so negative and can often feel very demeaning or even whiney. It puts an end to any possibility. There are no other options, just a no and inaction.
When I use it for myself, it’s not that I can’t, it is that I won’t. It is not even that I don’t want or desire to, there are just so many blocks for me to get over, most strongly being fear. If I can’t visualize it being easy (key word there for me), then in my head I say I “can’t” do it. Almost 100% of time I could, but the combination of fear and laziness takes over. I also sense that my laziness is a direct effect of fear. If I don’t get motivated to take action, I never have to face my fears. I am so clever to produce such tricks on myself!
Is fear a bad thing? No. Fear helps motivate, get us moving, and helps us take action. That is until it paralyzes you. Remember the whole fight or flight thing from school? The last point is where I fall into when I say I can’t. The fear of failure, rejection, and being seen takes over to such a degree that I stop moving, prevent myself from moving in the first place, or run away. I make whatever it is seem like such a mountain, that there is no way I could accomplish it. Does this sound familiar to you at all?
Cool, so I broke it down. Now what? How do I get over this “I can’t” thing? Well first of all, do you desire change? Do you desire what you “can’t” have? If the answer is no, keep on saying can’t. If the answer is yes, start asking questions. Questions open up possibilities. They allow for more. The easiest question to start with is What else is possible? Just keep asking it and don’t look too hard for answers, let it come to you. Follow the energy of questions without judgement and be open to where it takes you. Each situation can be unique or could be the same BS you’ve been telling yourself for years. One simple question can unravel years of crap built up.
The next thing to remember is not to make choices into decisions. Decisions are for a lifetime, choices are for the moment. Just because you made a choice to do something, it doesn’t mean it’s forever. If it is not working make a new choice. Obviously, it isn’t working for you or you wouldn’t be questioning it.
These two tools seem so simple, and they are. Are you going to let something simple get in the way of your desires or are you going to let them catapult you to the next level?